March 13, 2009
Today, I was Blessed to have a fellow parishioner from my church, accompany me. It was her first time, and she and I wrapped up to brave the cold and the colder wind. I am always reminded when I comment on the weather outside, that I can always dress up to stay warm, but the children about to be killed across the street, feeling first off the cold, cold, instruments of their assassin cannot find the same comfort, here on this earth. We must pray for them with such fervor., pleading intersession, and storming Heaven. Let them never be out of our thoughts. Let every smile we encounter remind us of the ones we will not see, (Alas, God sees). Perhaps one day if it His Will, they will smile when they see us in Heaven, and know we cared enough to be there, as much as we could, and to praY always first and foremost for them.
I carried my "I regret my abortion" sign, and my friend walked alongside me with a 40day for Life sign. We were the only people there from the 1-2p.m. time slot but we replaced some very faithful, one of whom had been there since around 9.am. God Bless such commitment. It moves me to be ever the more vigilant, when I feel the pull of the enemy that my witness can't really have that much impact. He is a liar! and my God always reminds me," To the least of these you did this to, you did it to me", and all I can say, is sorry, Lord , and Thank You Lord, what can I do to please help at this time , with what I have in my heart, as small as it is and how little, but it is all for You. Please do with it what You Will for Your Glory, even though it seems so minuscule, in light of Your Mercy to me.
I find that the children are on my mind day and night, and I have had one nightmare, about the clinic. An attack from the enemy to discourage me. It only serves to make me stronger, and hold my sign up higher. I will not back down. We must be radical, this is no time to be silent in light of the cost of human lives at risk, and the eternal damage to all involved.
I was affirmed, as one young woman walked by and in angry scowl of hatred, hissed at me, "I don't regret mine!!", to which I could only say, that is too bad. I did know where her hatred came from as she had killed her own, and the stark reality, that deception is the strongest force opposing Truth. Denial running a close second to protect it. But, it wears thin, and we are left a rage that cannot be quenched, spewing out in all directions, no hope of quieting the gaping hole of such pain , till Jesus heals us with His Mercy as we repent.
I also saw the woman across the street, ever faithful in her attempts to hand out flyers and stand witness to the Truth, and be there as Him to council before the evil deed takes place. She is in need of so much prayer and support as well. We must pray for everyone at all times.
I wish people, anyone had been there to say , even yell, Please don't do it!!!. You don't know what you will suffer for taking your child's life! I wished the father of the child, (who would have been o.k. with me keeping the child, maybe...) had been taken more into consideration, and I had asked him how he really felt . He was a parent of the child, too. We must never assume about other people, maybe if he had called out to me, in a last ditch attempt to stop me from doing the worst thing I ever committed in my life, I would have heard, above my confusion, my delusion, my despair, and the apparent indifference of those who said nothing, in case they be accused of "interfering". There is a time we must do whatever to stop the carnage, and "risk" calling out to the person, do you know what you are doing? the person who will suffer far greater humiliation of her own battle with self hatred, until she comes to know Jesus. We can't stand back and say nothing, anymore. We are at a time when people must see what abortion looks like. We should call it what it is. Why do we dance around it, as if we are wrong to cry out for Life at risk ?
We do whatever we can in love. But real love does not allow harm. If my father of origin, had called it love while I was about to be defiant and do something that would hurt not only me but others, and NOT taken some firm action of reproval, perhaps allowing me to be humiliated in front of others, because of the sheer stupidity and serious error I was about to commit, that would not have been love at all. Love sometimes has to step in and say. ENOUGH. You cannot do this. Again, I am reminded of the fact of animal rights activist who can and do defend animals from people who hurt them, how then the more we must do what we can for our human brothers and sisters who have no one to speak up for them. We must stop this nonsense of we don't want to "offend" people. Children are being violently torn apart and discarded as garbage. ! How offensive is that . Lord Have Mercy!!!
I have not been able to sleep, to prepare for going out again this early morning with my husband for the 2.a.m.-3.a.m. shift (one small part of St. Mary's commitment-God Bless the whole 24hours are filled with dedicated parishioners). Let us pray for more, Thank You Lord, for everyone, anyway. You are A Good Always, and we love You and Adore You.
Let us make God smile.